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We attach ourselves to superficial objects and ideas and then try to live them vicariously through the people we become close to.

Unconditional Synonyms, Unconditional Antonyms |

These conditional relationships then make us even more lonely because no real connection is ever being made. Conditional relationships also cause us to tolerate being treated poorly. This transitory nature of conditional relationships is usually something people can only see with the passage of a sufficient amount of time. Teenagers are young and just discovering their identities , so it makes sense that they are constantly obsessed with how they measure up to others. But as years go on, most people realize that few people stick around in their lives.

As most people age, most of them come to prioritize unconditional relationships — relationships where each person is accepted unconditionally for whoever he or she is, without additional expectations. Unconditional relationships are relationships where both people respect and support each other without any expectation of something in return.

To put it another way, each person in the relationship is primarily valued for the relationship itself — the mutual empathy and support — not for their job, status, appearance, success, or anything else. Unconditional relationships are the only real relationships. They cannot be shaken by the ups and downs of life. They are not altered by superficial benefits and failures. The relationship is not subjected to the coolness economy where I drop you the second you start hurting my chances to impress others.

People with conditional relationships never learned to see the people around them in terms of anything other than the benefits they provide.

Parents, as usual, are often the culprits here. But as with all relationship skills, it starts in the family. Not your own.

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You will also build your relationships by manipulating others to fit your needs rather than take care of them yourself. This is the basis for a toxic relationship. Conditions cut both ways.

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Most conditional relationships are entered into unconsciously — that is, they are entered into without conscious thought about who this person is or why they like you or what their behavior towards you indicates. You just see their sweet tattoos and envy their rad bike and want to be close to them. People who enter into conditional relationships enter into them for the simple reason that these relationships feel really good , yet they never stop to question why it feels so good.

There are a million hypothetical questions and you should be asking yourself every single one of them.

All the time. If you want to remove or repair the conditional relationships in your life and have strong unconditional relationships, you are going to have to piss some people off.

Getting Stuck on Conditional Relationships

And you have to let go of your own. It will cause drama. The story, Brother Stapley, was mythical. As we went from the place where he had snow deposited on him from a tree limb, just as we came out from a meeting into that beautiful storm, I drove up streets that were littered with limbs of magnificent trees.

I was fearful of what I would find when I got home, and my apprehensions were justified. Some of our lovely trees were broken. In our backyard a fence we had built to protect the neighbors while our children grew up was flattened. And I would like to tell you something serious and truthful. I have been thinking about tonight and what we are here discussing.

We are talking about casualties, some that have happened and some that are happening, and some that we want not to happen in the future. God has from the beginning been very interested in his children, those safely in the fold, some who have strayed, and those not yet in. We are talking primarily tonight about those who are in, or some who may not quite be in as much as they should be and as we would like them to be.

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I read again with joy what Alma the prophet wrote about some people who were far from the fold, who had once been in. Yea, in fine, they did pervert the ways of the Lord in very many instances; therefore, for this cause, Alma and his brethren went into the land to preach the word unto them. As that happened, Alma offered to the Lord the kind of prayer that is in our hearts as we listen to these great servants of youth speak tonight.

Behold, O Lord, their souls are precious, and many of them are our brethren [I suppose we might parenthetically assume he was thinking that many of them are the wives and children of our brethren now and in the future]; therefore, give unto us, O Lord, power and wisdom that we may bring these, our brethren, again unto thee. I recently had called to my attention by Brother Joe Christensen an excerpt from Church history that I would like to share with you in part. In the Documentary History of the Church vol. The Prophet then notes that the next meeting was held at his house, and though the weather was inclement, there were many there, to overflowing.

I advised them to organize themselves into a society for the relief of the poor, and recommended to them a poor lame English brother … who wanted a house built, that he might have a home amongst the Saints; that he had gathered a few materials for the purpose, but was unable to use them, and he has petitioned for aid.

Maybe You Don’t Know What Love Is

I advised them to choose a committee to collect funds for this purpose, and perform this charitable act as soon as the weather permitted. I gave them such advice as I deemed was calculated to guide their conduct through life and prepare them for a glorious eternity. You see, our efforts to reach youth today are not original. They are about the same, motivated with about the same sense of their need, and certainly by the same spirit that directed those of old.

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